I hate to be one of those people, but I have actually been having such a great time that I couldn’t be bothered to tell anyone about it. I wrote one post while travelling through the very vast NSW outback, but that one wandered off into cyber space and probably won’t be seen again.

13^th April: Our first trip properly outside Sydney involved a large blue hire car who answered to the name of Percy, a group full of English people, and me sticking my head out of the window like an excited Labrador. I was under the impression there would be kangaroos and koalas aplenty. There weren’t.

We were attending Triple J’s One Night Stand festival in the very outbacky Dubbo, about seven hours from Sydney. We rented a small cabin, which advertised itself as “log” but was really more plastic, and which got quickly invaded by some overbearing and very drunk Australian campers. They even removed their shoes within minutes of inviting themselves inside and demanded to have photos with all of us. After hot running showers (this was worlds away from Leeds fest!) and steaks cooked on the bbq, we headed down to the festival site and the least thorough bag search ever (“Do you have any drugs or alcohol?” “No.” “Boring.”)

Tears were shed during the Rubens, crazy dance moves were busted during Flume, glow sticks were attached to anything that stood still long enough, vodka bottles appeared from waistbands and bras, and I clambered aboard a man’s shoulders for the first time in my life and didn’t fall down.

There is more to Dubbo than just rundown department stores and hillbillies. Oh yes. There is a ZOO. And what a zoo. This thing is absolutely enormous – it would take a good six hours to walk round it. The idea is to hire bikes or a golf buggy and travel round that way, but, being the day after the festival, the zoo was overrun with hipsters and the bikes were all gone by 10am. Enter Percy. We bullied our way round the zoo in our monster truck/people carrier hybrid. Even when we were without Percy, we shoved children aside without a second thought to get the best views. We all had hangover-fuelled zoo fever, and nothing was keeping us from hippo spotting.

19^th April – Melbourne. After working an easy peasy four day week, I packed my bags and headed off for a crack-of-dawn flight to Melbourne. This was my first trip outside New South Wales, and also my first night without Sean since November. It’s true what they say about Melbourne. It’s very European. In other words, IT’S REALLY FREAKING COLD. Shortly after opening the plane door, our flight attendant turned and grinned evilly at his plane full of underdressed Sydneysiders. The beautiful thing, though, is that Victoria KNOWS it’s cold, and it’s prepared for it. We had coffees on a little cobbled street that was teeming with patio heaters, before checking into our very lovely hostel.

Danielle, who is a bit of a Melbourne pro, presented us with a strict itinerary to ensure we got the best out of the city. Sounds a little overbearing until you look at the list and see that every single thing on it was food. So we had lunch in a huge vegan café, dinner in a heaving dumpling place in china town, breakfast in a café run by beards, lunch in the botanical gardens, dinner in a Vietnamese restaurant, Mexican lunch on the beach, cake snack in St Kilda and bloody marys in a bar run by beards. All of this was interspersed with walking around this bloody beautiful city with wonderful people and glorious (shocker) sunshine. It couldn’t have been planned better. Even our flight home being cancelled worked out nicely, as it meant we got an extra night snuggled up in bed with Sarah watching The Voice.

Our night out on the Saturday felt very much like a night out in Manchester. The club was dark and sweaty and I slipped over in what I hope was beer but could have been just about anything. We danced like crazy people to a sound track of Arctic Monkeys, Foals and Stone Roses and impressed most of the club by knowing every single word to every single song (and happily singing along). I woke up the next morning with a fuzzy head, dirty feet and several stamps on my arm. Just like home.

Other generic fun things: Have I mentioned how much I love my job? I think I probably have. But just in case. I LOVE MY JOB. Shortly after our weekend in Melbourne, I got a text from my boss saying that she was unable to attend an event that evening and was I free to go? Despite being hugely sleep deprived I agreed. Best decision I ever made. Not only did she let me borrow a $500 dress from work, not only was there unlimited free champagne and ice cream, but I found myself standing just inches away from a live Temper Trap performance. SURREAL.

Other fun things from April/May include eating our way round Surry Hills, attending my second pool party where I once again went nowhere near the pool, spending two full days on Bronte beach enjoying a freak Autumnal heatwave, visiting a bar where you have to enter through a 50s style hotdog diner, playing with a small fluffy dog, playing with a small fluffy cat, regrowing my nail varnish collection, getting my hair chopped off, and getting an iphone and going whatsapp/snapchat/instagram crazy.

Things I learned about my friends:

– If you tell Danielle not to cry, she will instantly burst into tears. She stays awake all night if she has more than three redbulls. She also plans her whole life around food.
– Sean will declare himself “King” of any new place we visit (complete with foam sword and fur cape) and refer to everyone else as “minions”.
– Spruce is basically the love child of Karl Pilkington and David Attenborough.
– Sarah hides behind her hands and cries quietly when anyone breaks the speed limit.
– Strangers refer to Avi as “hot doctor” at least twice a day.
– Sarah and Spruce both know all the words to Last Christmas and will sing along enthusiastically, even in April.

So… there was a lot of not-very-interesting information for you… you’re welcome.

We’ve been here for exactly six months today. Six months. Six months to go before we’re illegal immigrants and the government unleash the kangaroos (I like to think that’s what will happen).